Tag Archives: Kansas City Royals

Those Fountains

Good friend of Meanderings and baseball aficionado, Eric N., has a new project for those with converging interests in America’s Game and quick wit. It’s the Rogue’s Baseball Index, an “alternative baseball lexicon.”

I was asked to supply a single entry into this vast dictionary. I happily obliged:

Those Fountains

A stadium feature that comes to define a baseball team in the public consciousness more than its on-field performance (i.e. those fountains in the outfield of Kansas City’s Kaufman Stadium). The term is most often used when the team in question stinks, and thus its on-field performance is a subject to be avoided. One exception of note is “That Big Green Wall,” which will in perpetuity overshadow any success had by the Boston Red Sox.

Contemporary synonyms include:

-Those Kayakers In Right Field
-The Swimming Pool
-That Sign That Used To Tally Cal Ripken’s Consecutive Games
-The Rally Monkey

Example in conversation:

Royals fan to Yankees fan: “So, Jeter and the Boys are really pickin’ it up this year, huh?”

Yankees fan to Royals fan: “So, Those Fountains are nice, huh?”

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I didn’t know this yesterday

The Kansas City Royals employ the worst defensive shortstop in Major League history. Science says so.

I, Royals fan

It’s tough, but not all bad, as you’ll see in my brief essay. Eric graciously posted it at Pitchers and Poets, the rare baseball blog that doesn’t make me depressed to be 14 games under .500 by the 4th of July.

One nation, under Brett

The United Countries of Baseball vastly underestimates the pull of the Kansas City Royals in Nebraska, IMHO.