McSweeney’s Monday

We’re late today, but worse things could have happened:

Shit, guys. I don’t even know what to say. I just want to apologize again. I am so sorry for whatever consequences this has for any of you.

If I could give back those last five beers, I would do it in a heartbeat. I don’t know why I let that girl look at it. That was a total disregard of our phones before hos mantra.

That’s the beginning of a monologue from the guy who lost the new iPhone. Full apology here.


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